Oops...

Well people, it's now Friday. And I go back on Monday. Ah. *attempts to distract you with awesome Doctor Who gif.*

5 Things To Do Over The Holidays

Well, it's Easter once again - at least it was last week - and when you go to school in France that means a two week holiday! Yes, that's right, you carcasses fit for dogs! (I'm trying out Shakespearean insults, just bear with me) I, Sophie 'Spud Girl'* Morgan have had a week off, and today begins my second week of luxury and far too much fan fiction for the brain to bear! I have, however, decided to make sure I do at least five interesting/stimulating/insanely stupid things THIS week, and so those three computer keys will not have pinged off my computer in vain.
                                                                                                                                                                           
1 - Research, write, and publish at least one web essay about Sherlock Holmes. NOTE: Theme should not be how brilliant it is. It could involve something to do with an obscure fact that the Conan-Doyle haters have picked up on. Do I know any obscure facts (apart from the Sigerson Conundrum)? Maybe Holmes hates ducks or something. I could definitely write about Holmes hating ducks.
                                                                                                                                                                        
2 - Exercise at least once a day. May seem obvious, but it's surprisingly easy to let the day pass blogging what you're going to do instead of doing it. NOTE TO SELF: Should I write a post about this?
                                                                                                                                                                         
3 - Launch an investigation in to why some people feel the need to walk around with their pants around their knees. Why do they do this? They sound like a lot of mammering beetle-headed clack-dishes to me.
                                                                                                                                                                                  
4 - Watch Downfall and improve my knowledge of the last days of Nazi Berlin.
                                                                                                                                                                                   
5 - Learn at least five cockney expressions. I already know 'Would you Adam and Eve it!' and that cigarettes are called 'Salmon' (No, I don't know why.) so just three more to go.
                                                                                                                                                                                  
I will be updating on these I expect, and I'd love to hear your thoughts (I will post my Holmes essay too).

Happy Holidays, you beslubbering clapper-clawed dewberries!


* I was not nick-named 'Spud Girl' because I looked like a potato. I do not look like a potato. It's a long story and I'll write a post on it.

KONY 2012

Wow. I feel cheated. 

I was about to spend 30 dollars of my life savings (100 pounds) on an action kit. 

Maybe I’m massively naîve about charities, but the word’s radical ‘charity’ seems pretty suggestive. Maybe there’s nothing wrong with Kony 2012, and I’d love to believe that: but I think there must be something more about this - in layman’s terms - it’s a bit fishy.

At the same time I don’t want to dismiss this project - there’s a deadline to this thing and if I can help, then I want to be involved.

I’d say wait and see except -

Lets just wait and see.

Of Doctor Who, Bridget Jones, and High Fatalities.

Doctor Who is just great, isn't it? It's incredible! You just sit there, watching the expressions on their faces. It's so awesome it hurts. It decreases worldsuck by at least eighty-two and a half percent! Is incredible! Is repetition! Am writing like Bridget Jones! I hereby propose a paper be written analyzing the probability and prevention of Death By Awesome. This fail safe will be necessary when Nerdfighteria conquers the rest of the Earth and Doctor Who becomes a compulsory part of the curriculum. Fatalities will be rare. Thank you.
Sophie Tegan Morgan, Future Director Of Nerdfighterian Awesome

Nothing actually interesting happens where I live. I go on Nerdfighters.com (highlight!), go to school, get stared down by popular bitches, not fancy anyone, and desperately NEED NERDFIGHTER T SHIRTS!
You'd think there'd be a lot of stuff around my life - moved to France, trying to learn French, living in a village in the middle of nowhere; (That was my attempt at sarcasm. It's a nice village though. I have architechture! Beat that beswimmingpooled luxury homes with the sea or even just a local shop so you don't have to cycle a mile whenever you feel like a drink!) but as I say, there isn't really anything. Or at least, that's what the people here think. They don't know I have a double life - geeky bespectacled girl by day, Nerdfighter by night. Sometimes I think I'm really sad - maybe that's true if you think about it. I have no human friends. There is never a Nerdfighter gathering near where I live. But hey! Who actually cares about that? And it certainly means I have time to work on my plan for world domination...
Don't worry, nerds. Thou Shalt Be Spared.

Family Guy: A Force For Good?

This post was as bad as a slightly unkind turkey.  

The writer has removed it.

Austen's World

In ITV's charming comedy 'Lost In Austen' Amanda Price tell us that she is 'In love with the manners, the courtesy;' of Jane Austen's world and it's certainly understandable why. When you compare the rules and manners of love of that period with that of ours one finds ours suitably lacking in tact and, courtesy - and Pride and Prejudice is essentially a love story. I'm inclined to write a Bridget Jonesesque list of dating rules; 'No fuckwittage allowed.' 

Lost In Austen is a refreshing look at the world in her time - especially set to the contrast of Amanda's. It shows an almost all consuming passion for a world that doesn't even exist, and Elliot Cowan's performance as Darcy is brilliant in it's own right. If ever the BBC remake their timeless series, I'm rooting for him as the lead.

Darcy and Elizabeth's love story comes from conflict, and Lost in Austen is like an amplified version.

Not to mention uproariously funny.

The Ball at Netherfield

Na 'Qae

The Citadel at Gallifrey

As the geekiest of readers may have noticed, Na'Qae (arguably) means greetings, in Lower Gallifreyan.

If this isn't enough to tell you that I love Doctor Who, then I recommend that you sit down and rest your brain. If you don't know what Doctor Who is, then go away.

Although you could stay to be enlightened, I suppose.
Sadly, there is not an entire dictionary of Gallifreyan and it's grammar is almost completely unfounded - the most complete version is that of Time Lady Taela, and she has added part of that dictionary from her own knowledge of the language.
Sadly there seems to be no alphabetical repetition in the language - or at least none that I can pick out. Now for the enlightening:
Doctor Who is an incredible TV program about a man named The Doctor, who travels through the Time and Space Continuum, usually with a companion. I could rant on forever about the brilliance of the world(s) that Russell T Davies, Stephen Moffat, Mark Gatiss and other notable names have created, however this chart probably shows it better.

Being Human: Hysterical Writing, Catastrophic Spoilers, and Lots of Crying.

You should watch The 'Eve Of War ' (s4e1 being human) before reading this post, as it contains catastrophic spoilers.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*hyperventilates*
*dies*
*comes back as a ghost not nearly as gorgeous as Lenora Crichlow*


*defeated sniffle*


You may have surmised that my distress is at the fact that, cue hysterical crying, Being Human is back.
Not that I don't adore it - the opposite in fact, I LOVE IT, but...

WHO THE SODDING MUD IS 'HAL'????!!!!!!!

Not only do I discover that they have killed off Nina (don't kill me for this big reveal) but Mitchell died last series and at the end of this ep...
GEORGE DIES.

At the beginning I was sitting happily on the couch, with popcorn.
At the end...

KILL ME NOW.

WHYYYYYYYY???????!!!!!!!!


Dear Readers,
At this point Tegan broke down in tears and could no longer handle a keyboard.
Please forgive this transgression on her part,
Blog Operator

I really don't see the point in maths. The rules seem to contradict each other, the numbers won't stick in my head, and everyone talks about it's brilliance. 

Not me; I spend most of the time I'm being unhelpfully tutored imagining how I would disembowel the insane sadist who put it on the curriculum. 

Worse is the fact that my family refuses to even think that it might be dyscalculus - my father doesn't even acknowledge it's existence, despite the fact that my test average is 2.5/20. 

Dear Math Haters,

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

I'm going to start my first proper post with something that's been bugging me for a while - Sherlockianism.
The crux of the matter is that people see the films, and then decide that they are true fans - at this point I attempt to hit them with a hunting crop, as of Holmes in 'A Case of Identity.'
The urban dictionary defines Sherlockian as: 'A quick and simple way of naming a fan of Sherlock Holmes'
It does not, however, elaborate on what this is.
I call myself a Sherlock Holmes fan as I
-  Have watched and loved the BBC update, 'Sherlock'. Seriously, watch it.
- Have read A Study in Scarlet, The Sign of Four, The Casebook of Sherlock Holmes, The Return of Sherlock Holmes, The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes and The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, the last four being compilations containing from seven to thirteen short stories.
- Own a T Shirt that I have daubed with scratches and stains that show the story of my day, in the hope that one day I will find my soulmate by having him deduce who I am from said T Shirt. No luck yet. One restraining order.

If you are planning to stay a faux Sherlockian, please do yourself a favour and stop my violent impulses. If not -
Well, I still have the hunting crop.

Happy Cheating Penguins

Hello people.
Let's get one thing straight. You may have noticed that the URL for this site is HappyCheatingPenguins. When I say that the penguins are cheating I mean at MONOPOLY. Or possibly Ludo. I haven't decided.
So welcome to the first post of my blog. I'd be a vlogger except writing is better than talking - write lot's of lovely comments please.
I'm writing this blog because real life is much too sensible and I can't stomach it anymore. Also because I want a website so I can put a URL on my SparkNotes page.
I should stop writing in short bursts. And start using punctuation. I should definitely do that. Yup.
Hello everyone! (Read: Goodbye)
I will stop typing now.
Goodbye non loyal minions.
Tegan

P.S Just read this post over. Did I really call you my non loyal minions?

P.P.S I am recruiting minions though. Jus' saying.